What did you want to be or do, when you were a child before anyone told you, you couldn’t?
It doesn’t have to be a known job or profession, it could be an area of interest, intrigue or joy. As a child we often know our truth and what excites or interests us the most.
At some point, a well-intended adult, usually a parent or teacher, will innocently ask “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and unintentionally, a lot of the time the child’s response will be met with a fear based or limited thinking mindset imposed on them. Maybe not in these exact words but the message is;
“Oh, well that’s a very hard/impossible industry/job to get into.”
“You won’t make enough money out of that.”
“There too much of that already out there.”
“You won’t be successful in that area”
“You don’t have the right body shape/smarts/creativity for that.” and so on.
As a dependent child who needs approval & acceptance in the relationship to survive, we learn to suppress our true desires to please the adult. And we learn to doubt ourselves, the possibilities, our capabilities or deny our dreams.
Our wings can get clipped by loving adults who have perhaps had their wings clipped from loving adults, too.
As we become an independent adult, this need for approval can still be deeply ingrained in us and continue to affect our choices because “What will others think?” “What will the parents think?” or “What if I fail?”
If we can just listen to that inner voice that knows our life purpose, trust it and act on it, it will never lead us astray.
Sure, the path may not be easy, and we sometimes must forge a brand-new path that was previously untrodden. We must take action and risks despite the fear or doubt.
But even with all the challenges along the way, it will be far more rewarding than ignoring that inner knowing and die wondering what could have been if you had only listened.
For me, as a child I would draw pictures of “The Wizard of Happiness” and he had a rainbow cloak, rainbow hat and a glowing staff and he would spread happiness and lift sadness for people. He was gentle, compassionate and kind. I wanted to be him when I grew up. (Bare with me, here..)
I never specifically told anyone I wanted to be him (Luckily!) But imagine what my teachers or parents would have said? “I don’t know if they’re recruiting any more wizards of happiness, anymore...?” with a perplexed expression and shrug. It’s kind of funny to think of now, but at the time, as a 5-year-old, I would have been really shut down, felt silly, ashamed, embarrassed and tried to never think of it again.
At the time, I didn’t know anything about having to have a business plan, uni degree or strategy to realize that dream, but life has lead me to Energy Healing & teaching meditation, which is kind of a similar thing.. It has the ability to lift sadness and to spread happiness.
The wish to do that with people could also have lead me to counselling, psychology, various health & healing therapies, fitness or other wellness industries which all interest me. To have a grown up shut it down could have lead me into data entry or accounting. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, I actually love numbers & math, but it’s a far cry from what I truly wanted to be.
What breaks your heart the most?
What moves, angers you or disturbs you the most? Then, how can you turn it into a positive action?
For a personal example, for me it breaks my heart to see people suffering sadness, anxiety, fear, doubt, depression, confusion, disconnect, unhappiness. These emotions all have a valuable place in our lives and there’s times when these feelings can be a valuable experience and certainly a valid response to what’s happening in our lives currently.
But to live in that state long term is not only miserable but toxic for one’s health on every level and those around them. Suffering does not have to continue throughout our whole lives, no matter how bad the trauma was at the time.
I also hate people feeling judged or ‘less than’ for any reason, including material possessions they have or don’t have, social class, sexual orientation, race or status.
How to turn these heart breaks into a positive?
For me, one way is to offer healing and meditation for people of all walks of life, to help reveal to them the truth of their infinite worth, intrinsic joy, connectedness and value.
If any of these 3 questions draws a blank, then ask;
Where in your life have you been propelled by synchronous events into an area you didn’t expect? Because this, my friend, can be divine intervention.
Your soul, higher self, guides seeing you fumble or doubt and give you a little loving nudge. Notice the nudge. It may be a series of subtle ones, it may be a powerful abrupt life change. It may even be something very dramatic and challenging but ultimately aligns you with where you need to be.
If none of these answers have come to mind for you just now or already - just wait. Just keep doing what you’re doing. And the answers will reveal themselves, if or when you’re open, ready and willing to receive them.
It’s not going to be a flash of lightening, brilliance or a big billboard. Although for some it is. For others it’s a slow realization and revelation.
It’ll still take courage to take action when the whispers start and gradually get louder. No one’s going to do it for you.
But you’ll find the right people along the way to continually open the new doors or point the way as and when you are ready.
Just breathe. Trust. Be patient. Listen. And when you feel inspired and clear (or undeniably encouraged and feeling almost pushed!!) take the inspired action!! Even if you don’t know how it’s all going to work out – Especially if you don’t know how it’s going to work out!
Did you miss the chance? The opportunity? It came knocking, but you double guessed, doubted it, let fear (or fear disguised as practicality) get the better of you?
Don’t worry this loving, indifferent and infinite universe will create another opportunity or two, if you’re a slow learner and at times a doubtful Debbie, like I am!
Gabriella Bernstein said it well when she said the Universe has your back. It truly does, so you can’t lose.
And one last question to ponder-
If a life purpose is encrypted into our soul (if you subscribe to that belief), then why can it become so difficult to remember what it is?
When we arrive here on earth, and life goes on, we can get very distracted by all the shiny things and the ego desire for wealth, acceptance, respect can be very strong and hard to resist. The programming from parents, teachers, etc handed down through generations and through society is very strong as is our survival instincts. And to survive really involves being accepted by your community (In the childhood years at least, and by then it’s . And if your community values wealth, prestige and status and pieces of paper from university you will take that path and deny the inner calling not realizing you’re denying your true self by trying to continually be accepted, even though you are not a dependent child anymore, you are an independent adult, free to make your own choices as long as you are willing to accept that not everyone will agree or see your vision of where you are heading and how right it feels to you. Often, we try to do the “right thing” by everyone else. But eventually we realize doing the “right thing” never involves denying our true selves.
Let me know your thoughts and experiences with this topic! I would love to hear about it.